Monday, February 23, 2009

what a f&*ked up week. And it's only tuesday

Here's what's been going on

1. My dad's cousin's son was caught in the bushfires in Marysville. He was one of the 'missing' but body has now been identified. Because of the scale of the tragedy, his body may not be released for burial for some months. I didn't know him, but my dad's cousin came to our wedding and is a lovely woman, so i'm feeling very sad for her.

2. I actually passed the 2 hour 75gram glucose test, so I don't have GDM. But my friend M, who is an endocrinologist tells me that i now have a higher risk of type 2 diabetes and insulin resistance, just because I had a borderline result in the 1 hour test. This will mean that after this pregnancy, I have to lose weight and get fit again.

3. It was Patrick's birthday on Sunday. Despite having thought that I organised a roster swap, I spent from 7am to 830pm at work, whilst my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law showered Patrick with love and affection. They took him out to see a model train railway, and reported back he was so excited he was trembling. MrT was also rostered on to work, so neither of us were there. Parenting FAIL. The day was particularly full-on, with sick patients and I only got 30 minutes break the whole day. THE WHOLE DAY. I am so tired.

4. It's official. I have antenatal depression. My meds have been increased and I'm seeing a perinatal psych...iatrist. Bloody hell that's hard to say.

5. I feel almost as bad as the pit of despair episode. I have been trying to hide it. But...

6. Yesterday I totally lost it at a colleague at work. I tried to apologise but he wouldn't listen. I don't think it will end my career, but it's not exactly a shining moment. Today I'm having a sick day- a mental health day, you might joke, but unfortunately it IS actually a mental health day. Like, a real, alive one. When I came home I sat on the back verandah and blew bubbles for Patrick but the tears just kept falling out. Patrick looked at me quietly and said "Mummy sad". I could have died.

7. I just ate 20 mylanta tablets because I like the pepperminty chalkiness of them (?pica?). I then looked at the box and noted the sorbitol content. I am going to spend all tomorrow on the bog. F@#k.

Is that enough yet?


Blogger E, SS and the Little Man said...

I'm so sorry about the depression. I had it too and it sucked. Mine was a mild version, but still impacted me. Happy 2 years to Paddy!

24/2/09 19:13  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry to hear about your second cousin. and the depression and all of it.

25/2/09 02:34  

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