Thursday, October 05, 2006

"What to Expect When You're Expecting" is a crap book.

Another Reason NOT to buy “What to Expect when You’re Expecting”

page 169 “A Pregnant Pose”

“If you’ve been dodging the camera lately (“no need to put yet another 4.5 kilos on me!”), consider striking a pregnant pose. Though you may prefer to forget what you looked like pregnant, your child-to-be will definitely relish seeing his or her first “baby” pictures one day- and so will you, eventually. To preserve your pregnant progress for posterity, have someone take a photo of your profile each month. Dress in a leotard for more dramatic documentation of your silhouette, and compile your photos in a pregnancy album, alongside the ultrasound shot, if you have one”

Oh yeah, sure junior is going to just looove seeing its mum in full pregnancy mode. Because then they will make that whole “but that means my parents would have had to had … have sex” realisation a whole lot sooner. Definitely relish? I don’t think so. “Mum! Put it AWAY!!”.

I especially love the ‘directly translated from the american’ “4.5 kilos” quote. Why if they bother putting in the decimals did they not make it 4.8 kilos, which is what 10 pounds is.

The italics are mine, btw.

Best book on pregnancy- would have to be "Up the Duff" by Kaz Cooke. Contrast:

(p. 187) "Week 19- what's going on. Your waistline is missing, presmed obliterated. You may have backache, skin pigment changes and a tendency to vague ... somethingerother." Or this, (page 189- on maternity wear- "Don't worry if your maternity wardrobe is all black, or all navy, or all incredibly boring in some way or other. At least everything will match. You'll be so sick of the sight of everything by the time you give birth, anyway, that it doesn't matter...The maternity fashion poilce will tell you not to wear overalls or stirrup pants because they are unflattering. May I just say that from about the thirty-second week of the pregnancy, you might as well be wearing an armoured tank: nothing is flattering."

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