Tuesday, February 14, 2006

loss

This post won't be very coherent. Sorry.

I read yesterday on someone else's blog that she, too, had lost her baby. I am sure this person thinks I am some kind of kook, but it's all too wierd: I found her blog originally as I was trying to find my eldest brother's old blog (Why I Hate Everything) and hers came up on Google. We seemed very similar in personality, so I took to lurking on the site (I think that is what it is called). Anyway, the day after I found out I was pregnant, she posted that she had also just found out she was pregnant too on her blog. Her husband is an Anaesthetist (Anaesthesiologist), and I am too. All the symptoms she had, I had. Then, horror of horrors, just after I had had my D&C she had an ultrasound that confirmed her baby had died, too.

I suppose it just shows how common miscarriage is; that a woman in Newcastle Australia and New York New York can lose their baby almost to thr same day.

It also is a sign of the universality of some emotions: she is feeling all that I am feeling, or felt at least when I lost my first pregnancy, and most of the ones I am feeling right now.

Specifically, that it is somehow all my fault; that I'm terrified that I won't ever be able to have children; that this is the end of the world; that when I do fall pregnant again, I will not be able to have the same joy, and I will be terrified that I will lose it again (at 6 weeks, at nine weeks...).

1 Comments:

Blogger Torrie said...

I don't think you're a kook.

I think we were meant to find each other.There's no other explanation for how many things we have in common.

Maybe we can offer each other support.

16/2/06 18:22  

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