The first in a long line of holiday posts

We had a great time in Fiji. I can recommend it to anyone as a grouse holiday destination with little tackers. However, if 'hell is other people's children' then Fiji would have to be the seventh circle. It is no hyperbole to say that (the great majority of )Fijians love children. Even at the airport as we went through security, a security officer offered to hold Patrick so I could go back through the x-ray (it was my shoes). And when she gave him back to me, and he started crying, the guy with the hand-held scanner held it over his name tag to make it beep for him to calm him down. I mean, this was a six-foot four burly dude with, y'know, muscles and the authority to have us detained but he wanted to pinch Patrick's cheeks!

Annywaay...

Much changes in 10 days. I made a list:

Things Patrick has done for the first time whilst we were away.
1. Used his passport.
2. Had his nappy bag checked for explosives. (Not his nappy, thankfully. It often contains explosions)
3. Got his parents onto the plane first ("Those travelling with infants or small children may board now")
4. Been on a 'jumbo jet'
(God help him, he got those ears from me. Poor little wingnut)
5. Been out of Australia
6. Breastfed on a bus
7. Woken his mummy overnight for feeds 7 times in 7 hours (Aaargh. Don't ask)
8. Swum in a pool
9. Swum in the ocean
10. Been startled by hair (Afros are big in Fiji)
11. Been given a frangipani to tuck behind his ear
12. Been given a shell necklace (or any jewelery for that matter)

13. Peed on a perfect stranger (we're still not sure how it happened. Doodle down, nappy snug; what the...?)
14. Been picked up and kissed by a perfect stranger and then taken to meet that stranger's extended family and work colleagues... and mummy and daddy being perfectly fine with that.
15. Been greeted in a foreign language ("Bula Patrick!")
16. Rolled over. (Aah. Patrick's silly, silly parents. We were so used to having him not roll we did something very dumb. The cot we were given had truly seen better days and really had "limb and head entrapment risk. Danger do not use" written all over its rustic, splintery timber frame. So we did what we usually do- short-sheet a single bed and tuck him in for the night. Fast forward to 4am. Shrill, horrifying cry. One baby face down on the (tiled, cold hard) floor, 40(vertical) cm from where he left the bed. Soothed by paracetamol (acetominophen)and a booby feed but mama unable to sleep for several hours whilst listening for sounds of fitting , stertorous breathing or a bulging fontanelle. He was fine. Really. Not even a bruise.)
17. Been on a boat. Been in a boat.
(yes, those are my enormous f-cups)
18. Had his cheeks pinched in a non-ironic way.
19. Seen tropical fishies
20. Eaten pineapple. Hell, eaten anything not made by mummy's mammaries
21. Seen hermit crabs
22. Been covered from head to toe in horrible, gluggy sunscreen all day, every day (tip for putting sunscreen on babies' limbs- pour it into your hands and pretend like you're making someone (ok, a man) very happy)
23. Watched mummy make a fool of herself dancing to Fijian dance music (It was all those pina coladas I had promised to drink for people)
24. Been bitten by mosquitoes :(
25. Been on a pram ride along the beach. A very looooong pram ride (hooray for mountain buggies!)
26. Got a souvenir t-shirt.
27. Fallen asleep in the Macpac.
28. got sandy toes
29. Flaked out on the couch after a long, exciting day.
30. Seen mummy eat meat (it was a Lovo. I 'had' to. "culture" and all that. And to be honest, meat ain't all that)
31. Been fed under cover of a sarong (they're very modest people)
32. Sucked his toes. Had mummy suck his toes
33. Seen coconut palms
34. Been in a hammock
35. Transformed the descendants of cannibal warriors into quivering, gurgling, doe-eyed baby-philes.
(you have to admit, its pretty cute)