Thursday, July 13, 2006

Still expecting

I'm now 7 and 4. Unbelievable, but true. The obstetrician showed us a tiny heart beat on our ultrasoung Tuesday. I cried.

Exam on Monday. Freaking freaking freaking $2300 exam. I have been studying all year and still feel like I know nothing. Today I haven't done much work- combination of the dreaded first trimester nausea and fatigue. I think this is one of the worst things about having recurrent miscarriages: imagine having just 1st trimester symptoms over and over and over again... I have now been pregnant for 32 weeks of my life, but have nothing to show for it but weight gain, many empty tissue boxes and a few blurry ultrasound pictures.

We have a plan: if this one doesn't want us as parents, we will give it a break for the rest of the year and reward ourselves with Sea Kayaking in Fiji. Or walking the kepler track. Or something else to look forward to. It's been a shit twelve months.


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